Fuck Jon and Kate Plus Eight

Jon and Kate Plus Eight is one of the shittiest things I’ve ever seen in my whole life. The worst part, of course, is the fact that you fucking assholes across America watch the shit. I think (know) it’s fucking disgusting to watch that fucking show, because it’s shit that you shouldn’t be fucking witnessing. I don’t give a fuck if they signed up for that shit, it doesn’t mean you should be partaking in it. Cocksuckers.

But that’s not all that’s wrong with the show. In fact, it would be easier to list the things that don’t fucking suck about it:

-Aaden

That’s about it. Aaden is the shit.

I hate Kate. She is a super bitch. If Jon did actually cheat on her dumb ass, then I can’t fucking blame him. SHe treats him like shit on pretty much every episode I’ve ever been forced to stomach down by my sister while I’m trying to read a book about how much men are better than women (great book, “Men Are Better Than Women” by Dick Masterson). And kate’s a fucking idiot. I watched the one hour special episode today (6/22/09) because I was waiting for a much better show to come on and my sister was watching it. She is such a fucking dolt. Examples of this shit she said are as follow:

One of the most inane examples of verbal horse shit that spewed from her stupid fucking face was when she was saying dumb shit like “I never thought I would be in this situation ever” and “It’s just SO complicated” in reference to Jon cheating on her. Go fuck yourself, asshole. As if you’re the first fucking person to be cheated on, you stupid fucking bitch. It’s not really that complicated, you’re a douche bag and he’s forced to deal with the fishbowl America is full of asshole television bullshit all day. Not to mention until two years ago, he was the only motherfucker who fucking worked for a living. Oh wow, you wrote some fucking books. How impressive is that? Not very. As if it was hard to sell copies, it’s not like you’re fucking famous now or anything like that. Blow me.

And then she kept on complaining about the fucking Paparazzi. Jon did to, but at least he excreted a considerably smaller amount of bullshit from his mouth, so I’ll let it slide. Yeah, come back to me and complain about that shit when you learn about a thing called the Bill of fucking Rights. Freedom of the press, which basically means that the press can interrupt your privacy the very fucking second you become a public figure. Since you’re doing book signings and shit and you’re on TV, it’s pretty fucking safe to call you a public figure. And it’s not like you didn’t know shit like this very well could occur once you signed the papers putting your stupid ass on the fucking television and onto a famous fucking TV show. And yeah, you know what, it is pretty bullshit that these people are doing this kind of shit, I can level with you there, but it’s their fucking job. They work with fucking tabloids, that’s the kind of shit they get paid for. It’s not like the paparazzi is from fucking CNN who SHOULD be covering important shit that matters (i.e, not you), their from Sun magazine or whatever other fucking tabloid magazines there are, I don’t know I don’t read that shit, I’m a fucking man.

God I hope that fucking shitfest gets canceled. They keep on fucking talking about shit like “Oh, we just want what’s best for our kids”. Yeah, that’s respectable, sure. Start with not broadcasting their fucking private lives on national TV.

Oh, and stop dressing them all in the same fucking clothes. That’s pretty fucking annoying.
Oh, and do some kind of shit with that fucking AFI haircut you’ve got. You look like a lesbian, or somebody with shitty hair.

Good, more Hentai Hate mail…

“the meet n fuck game r the shit, yes they may be shitty graphics and animation but, its porn, not a online game such as wow (that you probably jack off to insted of actual porn) if u dont like hentai then u can go fuck ur self and keep ur opinion to ur self. my question to u is, if u dont like hentai, then why the hell r u looking at porn on new grounds? its all hentai”

First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your staggering spelling and grammar. All these years I thought the word “r” was spelled “are”, thank you for this lesson.
And “they may be shitty graphics and animation”. Nice grammar. I hope you know that your impressive word choice made this sentence say “the games are shitty graphics and animation”. Good thing that makes sense, tool.

For the record, I have never played and never will play World of Warcraft, because it’s equally as stupid as Meet ‘N’ Fuck.
Also for the record, I like how you said I probably jack of to WOW instead of real porn. Just to inform you, hentai is not real porn (in consideration with the fact that every aspect of it is fake…), and any form of “pornographic” material taken from or based upon W.O.W would be no different from hentai (because they are both “pornographic” materials made up of fake characters having animated sex).

 

This is a REAL porn star (Bree Olsen)...

 

...So please explain to me how THIS is REAL?

 

And I was keeping my opinion to myself. Nobody asked you to read this. I didn’t hold you at gunpoint and tell you to read it, did I? And I think it’s pretty safe to assume that nobody else was, right? So you decided, using your own free will, to go on my personal website based upon my opinion and read it. I think it’s fair that I post my opinion on a website dedicated to it, don’t you?

And to point out your painfully obvious hypocrisy,  you decided to share your opinion, and immediately afterwards told me to keep mine to myself. Good job, winner.

Oh, and I don’t watch or look for porn on Newgrounds. I use websites that offer real porn. The kind with girls. Real ones. I played Meet ‘N’ Fuck to see what the douchebags who appeared to be eating that shit up in the “comments” section were so hard about.

Not really helping the cause, are you? (more hate mail about goths)

“moms mini van is keeping you down. you tell that bitch that she can fuck right off. fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccckkk”

I don’t even know what the fuck this means. I love it when people try to retort against what I say, but can’t even begin to attempt doing so with at least minimal intelligence, or relavance to the topic for that matter. What does this have to do with anything? I’m talking about fucking goths, not once did I mention anything about my mom or a mini van. Idiot.

“”I, like you, was once pantsed and dragged around the track by goths. I hate them so much. And girls too.”

I don’t know if this is supposed to be serious or a pathetic try at insulting me. Either way, ti’s pretty fucking pathetic. Like I said, minimal intelligence, please.

 ”Funny thing is, in your last post when you had both of your middle fingers held up, with your skater boy hat on (even though you are indoors and in a tee-shirt). You are the kind of douchebag I hate. Which is wonderful, ya know? Everyone has a particular sub-set of douchebag to hate. For you, it might be goths, or possibly even me, a self aware douchebag (which is the best kind of douchebag).

But you go ahead and continue your rant of things you witnessed at the mall, like the previous poster said. Because when your white middle class ass (I know, I’ve been there, life is tough) gets into the real world. You’ll understand there are all SORTS of posers to hate. Black ones, white ones, bloggers, Goths, emo, scene, creepy older people, regular old people, and you’ll feel a little more at home in the universe.

Always remember. You are someones douchebag, and they love you for it.”

I decided it would be entertaining to pull a Maddox on this guy and reply with some sappy made up bullshit that would make him sympathize with me. I replied with this:

“yes, it is true that I am wearing a winter hat, despite being indoors and in a t shirt. The fact of the matter is, I had recently gone through major kemo treatment. While it did help, and I beat the disease in the end, it left me with a massive bald spot  on the top of my head. For whatever reason, hair was able to grow around it. While Devin Townsend can pull of that hairstlye, I’m afraid I can not. When I took the picture I had decided to put on the hat, so the spot would be covered.

I understand that you would not have thought of that when posting your comment, however I would advise practicing caution in the future.
See, you are correct, I have been somebodies douchebag, and I have been made fun of for my hair. I’m afraid I have been associated with many insensitive people, which may have shaped who I am today. This blog is just a way for me to express anger I had kept inside for so long.
I appologize for anything I may have said in my post about goths that may have offended you, but goths were some of the biggest abuseres I was forced to face.”

to which he replied:

“ouldn’t take life, or the internet so seriously, buddy.  You especially shouldn’t give give guys who wear eye-liner, or 400 lb women in black, credence by even giving them the time of day.
And who gives a shit if goths give you a hard time?  Kick their asses, or get them banned from Hot Topic…”

…to which I replied:

“wait, hold on. So first I’m wrong for making fun of goths, but you can say people shouldn’t give a shit about them and encourage me to kick their asses.

What’s the definition of hypocrite again? Oh, wait…

and you should probably listen to your own advice. Don’t take the internet so seriously. Interesting words coming from the asshat who took the time out of his/her day to tell me how wrong I am for saying what I said.

And you probably shouldn’t listen to people who insult others on his personal website so seriously, especially if it’s obvious that they intend on making fun of everything you say. You bought the whole cancer bit? Fucking tool, my hair just looked like shit and I look fucking emo when I don’t wear a hat, and I hate emos almost as much as goths.

Dolt.”

Guess what?

full head of hair, dipshit...

Nope, goths still suck…(mail post)

“I believe you have only been exposed to posers, and yes, they are tossers and possibly the most irritating and shameful people on the planet. There’s an entire underground world of dark aesthetic that you will probably never see (I don’t imagine you’ll feel any great loss from that, and that’s fine). It’s not so much about being different from any other individual as it is being one of many who pursue a life that is different from the regular, mainstream culture. This includes a comprehensive network of shops, recording labels, designers, musicians, venues, festivals, etc. The point is not to be a person unique from any other human being ever, but to be part of a separate community. My advice? Hang out at the mall less, or, if you like the mall, ignore these trendy fakers.”

Want to know how, despite what you say, all goths are still douchebags. You, a “non-poser” goth, just used the term “Dark Aesthetic”. That means a dark beauty. How fucking crafty are you? There is an underground beutiful darkness? That is one of the stupidest fucking things I’ve ever heard in my life. God do I wish I could meet some of these dark aesthetic goths, so I could ponder the difference between them and a regular goth only to realize that there is absolutely fucking no difference, other than you being more of a fucking tool. 

Do me a favor and evaluate this (nevermind, I’ll do it myself seeing as you are probably much too inept to figure this out): What the fuck is the difference between being a person who wants to be a unique, “non-conformist” individual and a person who “seeks a life away from the regular, mainstream culture”? So you don’t want to be different from everyone else, just different from the mainstream, correct? Okay, I’ll do you a favor and pretend those two things don’t mean exactly the same thing. 

You say the point is to be part of a separate community, but what’s the point if you don’t initially want to be a unique individual? Why bother? Why bother setting up this dumbass community with it’s dumbass fucking trends so you can all be different if your goal isn’t even to be fucking different?

Oh and as for your “comprehensive system of labels, stores, etc.” bullshit, well… it’s fucking bullshit. There is no comprehensive system of bands and labels. The bands just use that excuse that you are giving to them because they suck and nobody fucking likes them enough to make them hit the big time. These bands fucking suck and they just say they are part of this “underground dark aesthetic” world because they just want to be in a band, they don’t want to make money. Which, for the record is bullshit in itself, because the initial goal of being a band is to make a shit ton of money. Enough to cover the money you had to spend on making a CD, and then more to make money for yourself. If you don’t make a bunch of money, then you’re just going to get poor. 

But, in theory, didn’t you just really prove me right in saying this? My initial statement was that in trying to be unique from everyone else, you have made this dipshit social movement and defeated it’s original purpose? Well, if you say that this is not the case, however you do wish to be part of a totally separate culture, either way all of you dipshits have turned it into a social movement, making it a culture that’s really not so separate at all, but in fact mainstream.

Either way, goths fucking suck.

Goths: Conformity in Being Unique

I’m sick and tired of the entire goth movement. It is complete and total bullshit. If there is a single fucking social trend that is absolutely filled with hypocrisy and conformity, it’s the goth trend. Why do I say this? Simple:

Because it is, in fact, a social fucking trend.

Think about it. The entire fucking point of goths is that they want to be “non-conformist”, they want to be “unique” and different from everyone else. So what do they do to express the “fact” that they are the most unique people on the planet? They wear black all the time and put on stupid fucking pants with stupid fucking chains and stupid fucking useless flaps and zippers laden all over them. It’s to bad by doing this, they have in turn created a fucking fad. Tell me, how are these assholes any better, more unique, and less conformist than the assholes who wear Hollister? Answer:

They fucking aren’t.

con·for·mi·ty (noun)
1 : correspondence in form, manner, or character 
2 : an act or instance of conforming
3 : action in accordance with some specified standard or authority

 

All the goth movement is is a “correspondence in form, manner or character”. If you ever see a big flock of goth assholes, they all look the fucking same.  They have taken something that, in the beginning was non-conformist, and turned it into a fucking fad. There’s nothing more conformist than buying into a fucking fad.

You want to be a non-conformist? Wear a pink tuxedo every day. Wear overalls over a dress shirt. Wear bright yellow jeans. Do something you don’t see everyone else do all the time. Exercise some creativity.

Speaking of creativity, I’m also fucking sick of hearing these winners talk about how they are the most creative people in the world. They somehow have an increase in imagination or creativity or intellect by being a goth. Here’s a question: If you are somehow more creative than everyone else, how come you can’t even come up with a style of dress that would actually express your difference from other people. It’s not like it’s fucking hard. In fact, it requires minimum amounts of creativity. But somehow, you super creative geniuses can’t even think of something fucking original. 

Cut the shit.

Here’s what I think of goths:

 

Fuck goths

Nice speech, asshole.

So who else caught the inauguration today? Right, probably all of you, because you’re all asshats. I was forced to watch it in school today, and let me tell you, if I had to make a list of the top 5 things I would like to never do, it would look like this:

5. Give a blowjob
4. See Hillary Clinton naked
3. Watch Obama’s inauguration
2. Fuck a screwdriver
1. See Hillary Clinton naked for a second time

And in case you’re curious, yes I would rather fuck a screwdriver than see Hillary naked twice.

But in all serious, who wasn’t bored? Better question, who had any fucking idea what Obama was talking about. Yeah, his speech sounded good. But think about it. What did he say? Can’t remember? That’s because he didn’t say anything of importance, or something that makes sense. If you can remember anything he said, do you know what it meant? No, you fucking didn’t. But somehow, every fucking douchebag knew exactly what he was talking about. I mean, they must have if every white woman in the crowd was crying (which was my favorite part). Seriously, why the fuck was every visible white woman crying their tits off? They must of been happy that one of their people is president….oh wait. The only time I saw a black woman cry was when that sexy old black man was talking. Speaking of which, I couldn’t understand a fucking word he was saying and his speech made more sense than Obama’s. I bet every single one of you is thinking “Well what was wrong with it?”. Well, for starters:

It was impossible to follow. The second you thought you had an idea as to what he was saying, he changed topics. It lacked any for of structure, or relevance for that matter.

Also, please evaluate this paraphrased quote:
“Countries of the world, we are your friends…and we WILL defeat you”.
Good job, moron. I forgot that all of the countries are friendly towards us. Like China, who could bomb our shit at any second, or Korea who hates fucking everybody. Germany, Russia and Japan, who hold grudges for fucking them up. Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran who are a bit pissed at us for going to war with them for the past 8 years.
And, we’re going to defeat them. Because that’s not contradictory at all. Quite literally the equivalent to saying, “Dude, you’re my best friend and I’m going to shoot you in the face”. Picture that. You wouldn’t say that, at least not seriously. I of course said YOU wouldn’t. I would say it, and then do it. After I shot my friend in the face, the bullet would then turn into a bomb and blow up, not until I left the premise, however. My friends corpse would then fly out of the rubble, quite literally (I mean with like, wings and shit) and, before my eyes, turn into a sex angel. She would then make out with my dick, which is expandable, and pokes a hole through the back of her head. Did I mention my cock is a sword.
See how much sense that last bit made? There’s Obama’s speech for you.

And I LOVED when he fucked up when he was sworn in. Not the first part where the other guy forgot part of the first line, but the second line, when Obama totally forgot what he was supposed to say and had the other guy repeat it. That was fucking great. Too bad every dipshit in school said “Well, yeah, but it was really long. It must of been hard to remember”. Good point, save for the fact that if Bush did the same thing, you’d be laughing at him and calling him a Dumbass.

Oh and one more thing. A bit off topic, but still about Obama. On the Sunday previous to the inauguration, I heard some asshole on the radio say “In my opinion…” (which is a horribly wrong opinion) “…Barack Obama is the greatest human being ever produced by America”. Question: Based on what? What has he done to earn the title of greatest human in the history of our country? I can think of a few better people:
-Me
-Maddox
-Ronald Regan (don’t forget, he saved us from Russian Nuclear Death)
- Abraham Lincoln
- Franklin D. Roosavelt (saved us from he depression)
- Samuel L. Jackson

Just to name a few. 

The only good part about it is when those two hot, naked lesbians started making out, and that’s a part I invented in my head during class in order to make it more interesting.

your car isn’t worth my fucking snowball, asshole….

Okay, so If you watched the weather on the news yesterday (yesterday being Friday, December 19th, 2008), you may have seen that Massachusetts was going to get a massive fucking snowstorm. Guess what….it fucking happened. I’m estimating at least a foot and a half, meaning I can almost hide my dick in the snow. Anyway, so I went to my friends house yesterday (the date for ‘yesterday’ hasn’t changed) after shoveling a path in my driveway to back the fuck out (it turns out my hometown has the worst, most drunk snow-plowers in all of MA). After I got there, we decided we were going to go to a close by mini-mart. So it’s me and three friends, and we get all fucking dressed. My pal Jack (this is important) was wearing a Fire fighter’s jacket, with the bright yellow reflective strips on it. So we WALK (also important) to the mini-mart, and when we get there, there is one other person. I’m looking at beef jerky when I hear a guy, in his mid to late 20s, say “Hey, you guys been hiding in the bushes throwing snowballs at cars?”. He then points to me and says “Yeah, I can tell you were, look at your coat”. I ignored him and walked to the soda aisle and then came back to the front. This fucking asshole proceeds to bitch us out, saying “Yeah, I can tell it was you, I remember your face. It’s not cool man, I’m driving my new 2008 Toyota truck. You obviously don’t know responsibility because none of you own a car” and a bunch of other bullshit. That’s all fine, save for a few things:
First off, I didn’t throw any snowballs, so fuck off.

-”Yeah, I can tell you were, look at your coat”.
This idiot was pointing out the fact that my coat was covered with snow, and that was proof that I was hiding in bushes. Yes, it was that, I promise it had nothing to do with the fact that I WALKED IN A FUCKING SNOWSTORM. Are you fucking kidding me? No shit I have fucking snow n my fucking coat, it’s fucking snowing out you douchebag.

-”Yeah, it was you I remember your face”.
You remember my face? First of all, what happened to the kids hiding in bushes, idiot? Second, how the fuck did you get a good look at my face. Not only did the whole blizzard thing obviously put a damper on your visibility (unless he was a polar bear…which he fucking wasn’t), but it was also fucking 9 pm. How did you get a good look at my face in a snow storm when it’s pitch black out. And third, how did he remember my face, but not big vibrant reflective fucking tape on a fucking firefighters fucking jacket. If it WAS us throwing them, and I was the guy, the first thought would be “Holy shit, is that a firefighter throwing snowballs at my car?”, not “oh look at that kids face!”. Fuck you.

-”You don’t own a car”
Good job idiot. My friend Will does in fact have a car. So Will speaks up, to which douchebag replies “Well obviously it’s not a nice one”.  Oh yes. when I think Toyota pick-up, I think sexy car. In fact, the only way this thing could be sexier:
 

Is if it had a pair of these on it:

And to add on to it, Will is 17. Obviously he’s not driving a fucking GTI or some shit, but for a first car it’s pretty nice. That’s why we didn’t drive. If your car is that nice, why the fuck would you drive it down the street in a blizzard, asshole?
And then this douche bag asked “Okay, well can I go and throw snowballs at your car?”. Yeah, go ahead. We’re staying at a police Lieutenants house, so vandalize our property all you want.

I hate humans.

Fuck youtube

The only important uses it serves are the following:

-Music
-Maddox’s channel
-It gives me a large list of total morons to laugh at

The people on youtube are the most idiotic group of individuals found on one browser. In fact, it’s the only website with visitors that I can sum up into more than 2 groups. The groups are as follows:

1. Idiots who hate a song.
These are the people that flood the “comments” section of your favorite songs saying “this song is fukin gay and the band suks!”, without the thought of “I look like a tool for taking time out of my day to search for a song I don’t like and tell people that the song is stupid”. Listen, I hate the band Deathcab for Cutie. Guess how many times I’ve typed the band name “Deathcab for cutie”? A total of fucking two. How do I have such a low number? Simple, I don’t fucking search for them on fucking youtube you assholes. If you don’t like a band, don’t fucking look them up.

2. People who love to think they are good at guitar:
Those are both the people who post videos of themselves playing shitty country solos on their acoustic guitar, or some 8 year old that plays a loud, sloppy noise solo and people say “oh but he’s only 8″. Suck dick, a shitty solo is a shitty solo, no matter what. And then there’s the people who can play, who of course is plagued with comments like “try playing something without sweeps and fingertapping, it’s stupid”. Those are the same people, of course, who think Jazz guitar players are the fucking greatest, and are the same people who should suck a dick.

3. Guitar hero asshole:
See my post about guitar hero assholes

4. Music Video fags:
These are the annoying people who like to take songs and make “music videos” for them using “super cool” gothic pictures like castles and dragons, or sometimes taking clips from anime shows and making an “AMV” (anime music video).  Now, there is never a situation in which this is not completely gay, however it’s even worse when the songs in question already have fucking music videos.

5. General idiots:
These are the people who can only be summed up as fucking stupid, using videos as proof. Like this user: http://www.youtube.com/user/grlaer
Or the people who post the “My top 10 _____” lists. Nobody gives a shit about your stupid top ten breakdowns list, because breakdowns fucking suck.

youtube is lucky Maddox is going to have his own webshow on the site.

The reason goths should shut the fuck up…

The reason is a kid named “BB”. Why? Because he is a complete tool. He knows everything, of course. There’s not a single thing in the world he doesn’t know. If me and my frineds are talking and he’s withing earshot, he will tell us how wrong we are. I know what you’re thinking, “Isn’t that exactly what you do?”. Answers is yes. However, the difference is that I have something he doesn’t. An idea as to what the fuck I’m talking about. Examples of great tidbits of information with him include:

“Well, in Antarctica it reaches temperatures of about 90 in the summer”.
Interesting that it’s a documented fact that the warmest it’s ever gotten in 36 F. Now, the reason we were talking about Antarctica at all was because of global warming. I said I don’t think the added temperature will effect regions like Antarctica which contains the most ice caps (considering it’s essentialy one big fucking ice cap) considering the average temperature is about -70 F which is about 102 degrees below the melting point. Granted it does sometimes…RARELY… reach melting point (32 F), being -70 will cause rapid freezing (considering the freeaing point of water is, oddly enough, also 32 F). So the ice caps melting in Antarctica is like an ice cube melting in a freezer. But no, wait a minute. Antarctica can get as hot as places close to the equator? Well accoriding to BB they can. 90 F? If you honestly think that’s true, the least you can do is not say it to anybody. You’ll look the much less retarded.

“”Dodos are the pot heads of the animal kingdom”.
Douchebag. For those of you who don’t know anything, Dodo birds were a species of bird famed for being terribaly stupid becaue humans were able to completley wipe them out with little to no effort. While it may sound like they are in fact stupid, in actuality they really weren’t. You have to consider this: The Dodos inhabbited a small, remote island that very few animals lived on. It had a total of 0 natural enemies. So when the humans came, they didn’t know what the fuck was going on. The reason the hmans called them stupid is because they would walk right up to the people. But it’s quite obvious that this is because they were curious. You may also say “well, woudn’t they figure it out after a while?”. Answer of course being yes, they would. However, they were not given enough time. The were killed for no reason and did not have time to adapt to enemies and a sense of danger. Even humans took time to figure out we couldn’t just walk up to a wooly mammoth and kill it, because it would completley destroy us. But no, the real answer is of course, Dodo birds smoked lots of weed. They weren’t dumb, just high. They didn’t know, the humans promised them chips and Mountain Dew, so they just walked onto the boats. I’d like to point out he actually told me that Dodos would just follow the humans onto the boat. Again, curiosity. The Dodos didn’t see the boat and go “Well shit look at that thing we have never seen before, we should probably stay away”.

“you have as much of a chance dying from a meteor hitting as you do in a plane crash”.
This is a real statistic, which I would like to take time to tell about how completley stupid it is. Apparently a team of the worst scientists EVER calculated the number of deaths caused by meteors and turn it into a percentage based on every other type of death ever, and then did the same to airplane crashes. As it turns out, the number is very close. However, you need to consider this:
When a meteor hits, thousands of people can die. When a plane crashes, there are obviously fewer deaths. So for this statistic to be true, plane crashes must happen much more often. Now I’m terrible at statistics, but would it be safe to say that IF SOMETHING HAPPENS MORE FREQUENTLY, YOU HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF DYING FROM THAT EVENT. Yes, it is safe to say that the chances of me getting on a plane and it falling are much higher than the chances of a fucking meteor killing me.
BB of course decided to use the exact opposite logic. He said, “yes, but the number of deaths makes up for the lack of frequency”. Bullshit, that’s not how statistics are formed. Eat dick.

Well, there are many, many more. But I can’t list them all. I just want to end by saying this. I have a goth friend, so I’m not saying ALL of them suck. But as a general group, they are terrible. Here’s the thing about them. They are hell bent on being non conformist. The desire being different from everyone. This inane desire, however, fores them into a mass group. The are conforming, no matter how you put it. They wear those stupid fucking pants to be unique, and because every one of these idiots thinks this way. And because of that, these very same “unique” pants have become as big a social fad as Hollister. They are the the biggest hypocrittes on the face of the earth and they give a bad name to metal.

Asshole(s).

Finally Understand (how a cult works) now!!!!

If you live in Massachusetts, please listen to my words. If you EVER see a bumper sticker saying “finallyunderstandnow.com”, do NOT go to the website. And if you do, please do not be enough of a fucking moron to go to one of their “workshops”. This is ALL of the makings of a fucking cult. Look at this bullshit:

“There is so much love in your heart that you could heal the entire planet. But just for now, let us use this love to heal you!”

Another thing, look at the name. Finally Understand Now. F.U.N. Only a fucking cult would choose a name like F.U.N. Assholes.
So check this:
“Love in your heart” is the same as a “Spiritual energy that you can share with others”. Basically, it’s something made up that makes you believe in the bullshit they feed you, basically something to hook you into the cult.

“Heal” is another term for “cleanse” or “purify”, which in the end translates to “poison the punch and drink it with a smile so the aliens can take you to Keron 5″.

“Heal the entire planet” which means RITUALISTIC GENOCIDE

“One heart at a time” which means….well, more suicide.

“Transformed the lives of thousands of people worldwide”, which just means it has sucked in enough sad pathetic assholes to spread the love.

“The only thing that stays the same, is that everything is always changing”. Not only is this the worst use of “Tom Sawyer” by Rush I have ever seen in my life, but it’s clearly the biggest possible hint towards this organization being a cult without them saying “hey we’re a fucking cult”.

But, i think the biggest possible bit of proof that this is some rediculous cult is this entire page found on the site:

 

“What is Reiki??The word Reiki is made up of two Japanese words, Rei which means ‘Universal’ and Ki which means ‘life force energy’. 

 

Reiki restores energy balance and vitality by relieving the physical and emotional effects of unreleased stress. It gently and effectively opens blocked meridians and chakras, leaving one feeling relaxed and at peace.

Reiki affects a person’s body, mind, spirit, and emotions. Reiki is a simple, natural and safe method of spiritual healing, and self-improvement. Reiki is not a religion, it is a stress reduction, relaxation, and healing method anyone can use or learn.

Reiki is powerful, yet wonderfully gentle and nurturing.

During a session the client remains fully clothed while lying on a Reiki table covered with a light blanket or sheet. Reiki is an effective alternative, or complement to, massage therapy. Reiki supports any medical or supplemental healing methods a client may be using and is of growing interest to Chiropractors, Medical Doctors, Psycho-therapists, Psychologists, Hypno-Therapists etc.

Anyone can tap into the unlimited supply of “life force energy” to improve their health, or enhance their quality of life by learning and being attuned to Reiki. Or by receiving it from a Reiki Practitioner or Reiki Master.”

Are you fucking serious? Reiki is MADE UP. There is not a fucking “universal life force” which can be used to heal by rubbing people. It is just a cultist excuse to grab some tits and dick. And if you go to the page, they show a picture of a dog getting rubbed on the head and stomach, and through the outstanding power of reiki, it lays down and feels relaxed. Do me a favor. Pet your dog. You just became a reiki expert. Congarts, asshat. How the FUCK do you get certified in reiki? Where do you go? What school do you go to for that kind of education.

Actually, you know what. Since you’re probably an idiot, go ahead and join. I hope you make it to Keron 5, douchebag.