your car isn’t worth my fucking snowball, asshole….

Okay, so If you watched the weather on the news yesterday (yesterday being Friday, December 19th, 2008), you may have seen that Massachusetts was going to get a massive fucking snowstorm. Guess what….it fucking happened. I’m estimating at least a foot and a half, meaning I can almost hide my dick in the snow. Anyway, so I went to my friends house yesterday (the date for ‘yesterday’ hasn’t changed) after shoveling a path in my driveway to back the fuck out (it turns out my hometown has the worst, most drunk snow-plowers in all of MA). After I got there, we decided we were going to go to a close by mini-mart. So it’s me and three friends, and we get all fucking dressed. My pal Jack (this is important) was wearing a Fire fighter’s jacket, with the bright yellow reflective strips on it. So we WALK (also important) to the mini-mart, and when we get there, there is one other person. I’m looking at beef jerky when I hear a guy, in his mid to late 20s, say “Hey, you guys been hiding in the bushes throwing snowballs at cars?”. He then points to me and says “Yeah, I can tell you were, look at your coat”. I ignored him and walked to the soda aisle and then came back to the front. This fucking asshole proceeds to bitch us out, saying “Yeah, I can tell it was you, I remember your face. It’s not cool man, I’m driving my new 2008 Toyota truck. You obviously don’t know responsibility because none of you own a car” and a bunch of other bullshit. That’s all fine, save for a few things:
First off, I didn’t throw any snowballs, so fuck off.

-”Yeah, I can tell you were, look at your coat”.
This idiot was pointing out the fact that my coat was covered with snow, and that was proof that I was hiding in bushes. Yes, it was that, I promise it had nothing to do with the fact that I WALKED IN A FUCKING SNOWSTORM. Are you fucking kidding me? No shit I have fucking snow n my fucking coat, it’s fucking snowing out you douchebag.

-”Yeah, it was you I remember your face”.
You remember my face? First of all, what happened to the kids hiding in bushes, idiot? Second, how the fuck did you get a good look at my face. Not only did the whole blizzard thing obviously put a damper on your visibility (unless he was a polar bear…which he fucking wasn’t), but it was also fucking 9 pm. How did you get a good look at my face in a snow storm when it’s pitch black out. And third, how did he remember my face, but not big vibrant reflective fucking tape on a fucking firefighters fucking jacket. If it WAS us throwing them, and I was the guy, the first thought would be “Holy shit, is that a firefighter throwing snowballs at my car?”, not “oh look at that kids face!”. Fuck you.

-”You don’t own a car”
Good job idiot. My friend Will does in fact have a car. So Will speaks up, to which douchebag replies “Well obviously it’s not a nice one”.  Oh yes. when I think Toyota pick-up, I think sexy car. In fact, the only way this thing could be sexier:

Is if it had a pair of these on it:

And to add on to it, Will is 17. Obviously he’s not driving a fucking GTI or some shit, but for a first car it’s pretty nice. That’s why we didn’t drive. If your car is that nice, why the fuck would you drive it down the street in a blizzard, asshole?
And then this douche bag asked “Okay, well can I go and throw snowballs at your car?”. Yeah, go ahead. We’re staying at a police Lieutenants house, so vandalize our property all you want.

I hate humans.